Save Gaer Schools

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I’ve been aware of a campaign for a while now. I was made aware of it by my wedding photographer Maria Farrelly. It seems Newport council is proposing to close 2 schools, and merge them on a single site. There a numerous reasons this is a bad idea, as you will see if you head over to http://savegaerschools.wordpress.com but the thing that has seriously and extremely pissed me off, is the dirty, low-down, disgusting political machinations that the parties involved have recently resorted to in order to try and cut the campaigners out of the process.

It’s stuff like this that really winds me up and convinces me that the system is broken. So I’m writing this post in the hopes that someone who can help the campaign in some way might head over to their blog and contact them, or even just share their indignation.

Patronising Parents

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I want to talk about one of my big bugbears. Imagine this: You’re having a conversation with someone who has children and you query something pertaining to said brats. Let’s use an extreme example and say you ask “Why aren’t you telling your child to stop kicking that other child repeatedly in the head?” (not so far-fetched judging by some of the shit I’ve seen parents let their kids do.) The parent responds with some variation of the following sentence:

“You’ll understand when you have children of your own.”

“Fuck off!” is the only real response for this bullshit in my honest opinion, you may as well be saying “I can’t be arsed to explain to you why I’m a shit parent right now.”

Apart from being patronising, condescending and insulting, it’s complete rubbish.

My lack of offspring isn’t indicative of some lower form of intelligence, if anything it is quite the opposite, showing I have a functional understanding of how contraception works.

There is also no mystical understanding that you glean merely through having children of your own, no hidden truth.

Parents love their children, and most will do anything for them, but children can be extremely hard work. I already understand these concepts, it’s not something I’m going to suddenly realise in a moment of epiphany when and if I have my own first born placed in my arms.

If you didn’t understand these concepts before you had kids then I’d probably say you weren’t mature enough to be having them in the first place; and I’ll thank you not to tar me with that brush!

It’s clichéd, non-sentiment, bullshit responses like this that inhibit proper communication and lively debate.

So, until such a time as I decide whether or not to have children of my own, my stock retort for anyone utilising this response or any variation on it will be the following.

“I’m sorry? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of all my disposable income.”

Charlie’s practically a model!

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I’m a bit late with this one, but Charlie has done a photo shoot for Cwtch the Bride, the welsh wedding blog she contributes to. I think she looks amazing and should look into doing more of it. Click the image below to go straight to the post at Cwtch the Bride.

This photo is the property of Maria Farrelly and she retains all rights to it.

Joining Jack

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Hi all, it’s been a while since I last posted, so I thought I’d do a post about the big ‘Donate Now’ button at the top of the blog, and try to shed more light on what JoiningJack is.

JoiningJack

JoiningJack is a charity set up by Andrew and Alex Johnson, the parents of a boy (the eponymous Jack) who suffers from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). DMD is a muscle disease that causes progressive skeletal muscle weakness, it affects around 1 in every 3,600 boys, which results in muscle degeneration and eventual death. The disorder is caused by a mutation in the gene responsible for the muscular protein dystrophin, which is located in the X chromosome, and so although both sexes can carry the mutation, symptoms are rarely exhibited amongst females.

The symptoms of DMD usually exhibit by age 6.  Progressive muscle weakness of the legs and pelvis associated with a loss of muscle mass is observed first, eventually spreading to the arms, neck, and other areas. Early signs may include enlargement of calf and deltoid muscles, low endurance, and difficulties in standing unaided or inability to ascend staircases.

By age 10, braces may be required to aid in walking but most patients are wheelchair dependent by age 12. Due to progressive deterioration of muscle, loss of movement occurs, eventually leading to paralysis. Intellectual impairment may or may not be present but if present, does not progressively worsen as the child ages. The average life expectancy for patients afflicted with DMD is around 25. The last years of a sufferer are often spent on a ventilator as due to lack of muscle, they cannot breathe for themselves.

Currently there is very little awareness of DMD and research into finding possible treatments is drastically underfunded. However, over the past few years, with help from charities around the world, human clinical trials have begun to take place with encouraging results.

The charity JoiningJack has the ultimate aim of finding a cure for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.   If a cure can be found or treatment discovered to increase life expectancy it will not only help Jack but boys throughout the world suffering from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.

And so, if you believe this is a cause worth helping, you can donate now or any time by clicking the image on the top right hand of the page.

If and when you make a donation, don’t forget to check the Gift Aid box if you’re a UK taxpayer as then your charity can claim an extra 25% from the government!

SuperTed

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OK  I just found a video of Superted on Youtube.

I used to watch this as a kid and it never occurred to me then but it’s such a bizarre combination of stuff! He’s a toy Teddy Bear brought to life when an alien spaceman with a Mohawk finds him in a storeroom in a factory and uses his cosmic dust on him. (I don’t know why an alien’s first thought on landing on earth is to visit a dusty factory storeroom, surely there are nicer places to visit)

The alien then promptly takes him to a magic cloud where Mother Nature bestows on him special powers. One of which is the ability to flay himself and reveal a superhero costume beneath his skin. He lives in a tree-house and his arch enemy is a cowboy (with a really strange accent) whose henchmen are an effeminate undead skeleton and a stupid fat bloke.

Superted also has his own teddy bear to sleep with which is yellow with green spots like Spotty. (Does he have unresolved feelings towards his friend??)

I still love it, especially how un-PC it is (the fat bloke is called Bulk) but there were either some drugs involved in this or someone was having a laugh. Here’s a link to the first episode on Youtube. You decide.

 

Language

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I dropped the C-bomb a couple of posts ago and not a single person has complained or even commented. I must say I’m very proud of you all for being so open minded and realising that it’s only a word and that slang and swearing are merely a part of the evolution of language. But I’m also very ashamed of you all for allowing society to deteriorate to the point where such filth is commonplace! Go to your room you ‘orrible fucks!

Skyfall Critique (Spoilers!)

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I finally managed to see Skyfall on the Sky store last weekend and to be honest, I’m glad I didn’t spend the money on seeing it in the cinema or buying the Blu-Ray.
To my mind the standard of comparison for bond films is Casino Royale. It’s perfect, it has everything I want to see. Chase scenes, fight scenes, a gorgeous car, great locations, great casting, and gritty overtones far removed from the camp Roger Moore flicks of the past.

Yeah, that’s right, I’m hard.

As the film started it all looked promising, Bond was in pursuit of some unknown operative who had stolen some sensitive information, and had chased him across Istanbul on motorbikes (hold on, didn’t he ride a motorbike quite a bit in the last film? Oh well, I can let that go) and the pursuant had led 007 onto the top of a train, with a female agent shadowing in a 4×4. (Fighting on top of a train? It’s been done A LOT! But hey it’s fast paced and choreographed well, is there really such a thing as an original idea anymore? I’ll let that go too).
The bad guy starts decoupling carriages in order to escape but as luck would have it there’s a handy JCB available for Bond to use to temporarily couple the carriages together in order to catch up with his quarry. (Bond used a bulldozer during a chase in Casino Royale, is construction vehicle operation part of MI6 agent training?!)
So the female agent gets ahead of the train and sets up a scoped rifle, “Take the bloody shot!” barks M over her earpiece despite the agent’s trouble getting a clear line of site. (“Oh good!” I thought, “M is a proper tough, decision making ball buster in this one. I was getting fed up of the subtle maternal subtext in the last film”.)
There are no prizes for guessing that the woman took the shot and hit Bond by mistake, knocking him off the train and causing him to plummet into the river below, roll credits.
So I’d made it to the theme song and there had already been at least three completely blatantly recycled ideas. But I was still optimistic and willing to give the film the benefit of the doubt.

But it just got worse and worse, and here are a few of the main problems I had with this film.

M was increasingly painted as a maternal figure for Bond, which was so at odds with her no nonsense “do whatever it takes” attitude that it just made the character seem disjointed and almost bipolar.

More recycled rubbish was evident as 007 himself struggled with a shoulder injury, stopping him being at full form just as it did in The World is Not Enough.

The character of Q makes a return (unwelcome in my book, Bond’s gadgets in the past have just been stupid) and gives 007 a gun coded only to his palmprint and a homing signal (“not so bad” I thought, “nothing too far fetched there”).
The gun however, seems only to exist for the sake of a single scene later on where an enemy attempts to shoot Bond with his own gun and promptly gets dragged off by a monitor lizard. (Why?! The film is no better because of this scene!). Further stupidity ensues when Bond unrealistically makes no move to retrieve his weapon and just strolls off without it. (Yeah he’s a great agent.) So overall, the only saving grace of Q’s return is the new actor, who played the part of the geeky, yet witty quartermaster brilliantly.

Possibly the best thing about this film was Ben Wishaw’s performance.

In a big “roll your eyes” scene, Bond encounters the big bad’s “girlfriend” and realising she’s been in the sex trade for most of her life, and is basically a prisoner of the bad guy, Bond tells her he can save her. Roll on 10 minutes and Bond strolls into a shower with her presumptively, instantly objectifying her and becoming the kind of man she’s had to deal with all her life. Way to keep up that heroic image Bond!

The main villain was odd in appearance and demeanour and had a tawdry gruesome disfigurement (conveniently only evident in one scene when he removes his flawless prosthetic, sigh!).

It’s implied he’s gay too. Don’t ask me why. Maybe the writer’s realised he was boring.

They’ve shoehorned in a classic Aston Martin DB5. “OK”, I thought, “He won one in a card game two films ago, It’s conceivable he could have kept it and put it in storage.” But no, this DB5 was fully equipped with an ejector seat and machine guns, and yet is somehow Bond’s personal property?! Casino Royale represented a reboot of the James Bond franchise and therefore the events of Goldfinger have not occurred. (and even if we assume they have occurred off-screen, the car involved would be a newer model.) SO just where the hell has this car come from? And why is it Bond’s personal property?! It makes completely no sense at all and was my main bugbear in this film, in my opinion, they ruined a passable script with a pointless piece of nostalgia, and I felt like cheering when they blew the car up.

SO fed up of this car!

The final showdown takes place in Bond’s family home, now I like the mystery surrounding Bond’s past, and I have no desire to have it explained to me, I’m happy to accept he’s an orphan who was recruited by MI6 and that’s all I need to know. And as for M dying in the chapel where Bond’s parents are buried, all I can say is SIGH!

And if that wasn’t enough, in the last scene they establish that the female agent from the beginning is Moneypenny (yet another pointless character), and show us an office almost identical to the one we see as M’s in the old Bond films. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been if they made Bond throw a hat onto the coat rack.

Don’t get me wrong, all these things may give you the idea that I didn’t enjoy watching the film, but I did enjoy it thoroughly at the time. But there were just too many issues for it to be the Bond film I was waiting for.
If I was to give the makers of the next Bond any advice I’d say this, just give Bond a target and send him after them, keep it simple. The Quantum organisation was established as a modern day alternative to SPECTRE in Quantum of Solace and it’s the perfect excuse for a good film.
I even wouldn’t mind a modern day remake of an older film. But the main thing I would say is LEAVE THE NOSTALGIA ALONE! I have no desire to see the DB5 every movie, or any other outdated Bond memorabilia.

Oh, and the theme song was shit!